Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize