i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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