i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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