I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
