that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
