I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
