You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
