Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
tell me about the fingering
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