I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
third nipple confirmed
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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