Plan B is the new Plan A
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
this hospital has no fireball
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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