Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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