i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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