It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
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I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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