Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
