Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
