she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
