some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
