I hate your face
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
