How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
be right there i have to get my cape
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
