I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
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Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
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You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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