it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so let's talk penis.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
