Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
