dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
zippers are such a cool invention
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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