I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
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I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
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Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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