My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
