I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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