Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
