its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Randomize
