how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
