do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
