I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
