I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
