i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
