please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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