what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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