It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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