Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
