Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
