you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
