these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
