Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
