I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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