White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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