This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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