I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
