So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
