i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
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