youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the day after is always just damage control
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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