Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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