I'm really into asian looking animals
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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