Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
