When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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