Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
