I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
