Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
