Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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