i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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