Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
