I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize