I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
