dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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