Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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