So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
