This girl is more easily done than said...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
